A Great Weekend

Ridley and I started our weekend off by heading over to Grammie's house on Saturday (my mom's). Ridley showed Grammie that she loves to exercise her voice. She croaks out "Ayyyyy" again and again for minutes on end. She loves finding her voice!
Then we headed to Rose and Josh's baby shower where Ridley got PLENTY of attention. Everyone wanted to hold her and play with her and she really loved seeing all the new faces. She loves to see new faces and she will smile really big and start bopping around in spastic excited movements. She even met another baby there (my friend Ashley's little boy) while I got to catch up a little with friends and eat some good food. And it's exciting to think that in just a couple of months Ridley will have another baby friend. She already has so many!
That night, Phil came home! He has been gone to San Jose, CA for the last couple of weeks for work. His flight came in around 9:30pm when Ridley had already gone down for the night. But she got to see her dad around 3:00am when she woke up for a night nursing. He was excited to see her, but we held back on interacting with her until the next morning. I wanted her to go back to sleep ASAP! Those "sleeping through the night" nights are starting to become a distant memory since I went back to work.
Sunday morning Ridley showed her dad her voice. "Ayyyyy. Ayy. Ayyyyyyyy!" And while he changed her diaper, she showed him that she had found her feet and held on to them. This made it a little more difficult for Phil to change her diaper, but he was nonetheless very impressed with her new accomplishment.
That same morning, Ridley rolled over all on her own! And this time she wasn't propped up on a pillow. She was flat on the floor on her tummy. She arched her back and rolled right over to her back. Her little eyes got big and she looked at me as if asking, "Is this okay? I think I just did that..." Of course I made a big deal about it. "What a strong girl! You go, Ridley!" She didn't do it again all day, but I'm sure she'll be the master of the roll over before I know it.
And then Phil, Ridley and I went to Grandma's birthday dinner (Phil's mom). We had a good time and it was interesting to look back on what we did this time last year for Wendy's birthday...practically the same thing with one big exception. It was a year ago when we went to the same restaurant, sat at the same table and announced our pregnancy to Wendy and the rest of Phil's side of the family. I even posted the video on this blog! And this year we returned to the same restaurant and the same table this time with little Ridley joining us.

Just When I'd Given Up...

I told Elena that even though I was done trying to get Ridley to take the bottle, I thought we should just offer it to her once a day anyway. I didn't expect her to take it, but it wouldn't hurt to offer it. Well, when I picked Ridley up on Friday evening after work, Elena gave me some great news. Ridley drank 3.5oz out of the bottle with no fuss! Miracle! Just when I'd made peace with Ridley not taking the bottle, she went for it (there's a life lesson in there somewhere).

This is Ridley in the Bumbo after taking the 3.5 ounces!

I didn't want to loose any momentum over the weekend, so I decided that I was going to offer her a bottle once on Saturday and once on Sunday. I didn't think she'd take it from me at all since she knows I'm the one that breastfeeds her, but I knew I had to try. I'm happy to say I was very wrong! She took right to the bottle when I offered it! She drank 2.5oz because that's all I had put in the bottle, but she drank it all and was ready for more. I was floored. I still am.
On Sunday, we were over at a friend's house when I offered her a bottle and again she took right to it. My friend Lisa said that if she hadn't known we were having difficulty with getting her to take it, she would never had known. Ridley didn't take the entire bottle (this time I'd put 4oz in it), but she drank almost 3oz before she decided she'd had enough.
I don't know what the difference was in the end. I have a friend whose baby will sometimes take the bottle and sometimes won't. So, I don't want to say that this is a done deal, but it is definitely a huge progressive step.

Baby Playing

Elena has been sending me pictures of Ridley during the day while I'm at work. It's been amazing to be able to see what she's up to while I'm not with her! Sometimes I really love technology.

Here is today's picture:



This morning on our ride to Elena's I heard the clicking' of Ridley's car seat toys! These toys are a little bug and a little bird that hang down from the car seat handle. Ridley has been aware of them for a while now and has grabbed a hold of them, but she hasn't had the strength until this morning to actually pull them towards her on their strings (the "clicking" sound). What a strong girl!

*UPDATE: Here's a video of Ridley in action. This was recorded after Ridley finally took a bottle for us and while Phil was still out of town for work.

The End of the Bottle Battles

After weeks and weeks of trying to get Ridley to take the bottle, I have decided to stop trying. Yes, you read that right. I am raising the white surrender flag. Cease fire. Cease fire.
Yesterday was final battle day. It was the day that the sitter and I decided I was not going to come and nurse Ridley for lunch, and I was not going to come nurse her in the afternoon. She was going to go without nursing until she gave in to the bottle. We were going to force her into submission with a full day of no nursing. And I did it. I did not see Ridley until I got off work (the longest I've ever been away from her to date).
But Ridley went the 11 hours without milk. 11 hours! From 8am until I could feed her at 7pm. She did not take the bottle. By the end of the day, she was so tired and wore out from fighting it that she just let the bottle stay in her mouth without taking any of it down. She sat there with the nipple in her mouth, looking straight ahead like a broken down child. But she wasn't going to drink a drop. She just wasn't going to cry about it anymore.
I went home and called a nurse. I sat on the phone with her (while nursing!) for over a half hour going through every possible suggestion and recommendation. "Been there, done that," was my response to every single suggestion.
I told her how everyone has told me that if Ridley gets hungry enough, she would eventually eat. She told me that wasn't necessarily true. There have been moms that have taken their babies to the ER because of dehydration. I asked her what was the longest a baby could go without risk of dehydration. She told me they don't recommend a baby go any longer than 6-8 hours (we did 11!). I said I thought that I wasn't holding out long enough, that maybe I should withhold the breast from her at night too. What did she think? She said "starvation to submission" is never a good idea, and that's what others in the medical profession would say. She could develop negative connotations with eating that could be long term. I don't want Ridley to develop negative connotations with eating. Just imagine her having a hard time accepting solid foods due to a negative association! And everyone who tries to get Ridley to take the bottle say they feel like they are torturing her. My sitter said "I feel like I"m water boarding her!"
This is 100% what my intuition was telling me, that starving Ridley just wasn't the answer and just hearing it confirmed was enough for me to feel validated. I wish I hadn't needed someone to back me up, but so many people have told me "Oh, she's not going to remember this! She HAS to take the bottle. You're the mother." But my intuition was telling me, "If it were a kid throwing a tantrum about not eating their broccoli, okay, I see the point in digging my feet in the sand. But this is a little baby! She's only old enough to know that she wants me to nurse her and that's it. She's not old enough to reason, she's not old enough to "spoil" and she's not old enough to go long periods without food or liquid!" Ridley may be in the 95 percentile of weight, but going without milk isn't just about gaining weight, it's about staying hydrated as well.
One other thing that some people (including myself) were saying was that by me nursing Ridley at lunch, I was undermining our efforts with the bottle. But I don't feel that way anymore. For one, we tried 11 hours of holding out and that's long enough for me (how much longer was I supposed to hold out before Ridley ended up in the ER?!). But two, the nurse told me that the suggestion is to wait a good 10-15 minutes between attempting the bottle and nursing to avoid that association (the association that "hey, if I hold out Mom will come nurse me eventually). We waited a lot longer than 15 minutes, so I don't think she was making that association. She is just stubborn! I think if I wasn't fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed, we would be in the ER with her! If there was some sort of reason/emergency where I wasn't able to breastfeed, I think we'd be looking at a few days of hell and starvation and probably a trip to the hospital. But even if there wasn't a trip to the hospital, starving her into submission would not be ideal. I'd do it if I had to in that situation, but I'm luckily not in that situation. I'm not risking her well being for my convenience of her taking a bottle.
So, I say enough. I can go home and nurse her at lunch and in the afternoon, and that's just what I'm going to do! I'm done stressing over it and worrying that I'm not being a good mom because I can't get her on the bottle. I'm done worrying about not trying everything I can. I feel that I HAVE tried everything at this point and I need to recognize when I've been beaten.
Straight from the tap! The bottle has lost. Long live the breast. So ends the Bottle Battles of '10/'11.

A Tisket A Tasket

I missed her first reaction to the Sing A Ma Jig, which was a huge smile, but here's her second viewing of the toy:

Bath Time

Ridley LOVES to kick in the bathtub. This is definitely one of her milder bath times, but also one with a funny ending...

Milk Drunk Memories

I just recently went through the videos that we've been taking of Ridley on the iFlip. I came across this one and realised that there's no wonder she won't take a bottle! Look how satisfied she is with it straight from the tap! (this video is Ridley at 5 days old)

An Eventful Weekend

On Friday Ridley went to stay with Elena for the first time. It was only half a day, but I think Ridley enjoyed herself. Except, of course, when it came time to take the bottle. We got the Adiri bottle in the mail that we'd been waiting to try, but Ridley refused it from Elena. However, after coming home with Philip and spending the afternoon with him at Grandma's house, Ridley actually took some milk from Philip without protest! He said he let her get really hungry before he even offered the bottle and when he finally did offer it, she took it down. She only drank an ounce and a half, but that's because Phil is in the habit of only putting a small amount of milk in the bottle so as not to waste it. He said he thought she would have taken more if it were in the bottle, but by the time he went to make her another bottle, she had fallen asleep. Here's hoping this is a good sign of things to come!
On Saturday we went out and had brunch as a family and spent the day relaxing and enjoying Phil's last day with us. He has work in California for the next couple of weeks, so we won't see him again until the end of the month. But Ridley made sure his last day was memorable. At bath time, while I was holding her and we were waiting on her bath water, she took the opportunity to pee on me! Urine was all over my stomach and pants. She even got a bit on the kitchen floor! Phil had a real good laugh about it, and Ridley also seemed to get a big kick out of it. She laughed her first real audible laugh. It was hilarious. Serves Mom right for holding a naked baby! Phil told me later he was sorry for laughing so hard, but I told him not to be. If it had been him I would have laughed even harder!
Sunday morning Ridley and I dropped Phil off at the airport and said goodbye. We'll miss him and can't wait for him to come home, but we know he's going to do great at his job. Ridley seemed to know he wasn't there to give her "Dad's Special Burrito Swaddle" at bedtime, because she just did not want to stay asleep last night!
This morning I dropped her back off with Elena. She was in a very good mood and I hope that Elena has some success with Round 2 of the bottle feeding. It was a little harder to get to work this morning than it has been the last couple of weeks. I guess because Ridley isn't at home with her dad. I have 100% confidence in Elena, but it was somehow different taking her somewhere and leaving her before heading to work.



Here's a cute picture Phil took of Ridley on Sunday morning with his Ipod:

The End of the 4th Trimester

Ridley is 3 months (as of last Saturday)! She's officially out of her "4th trimester." The doctor of The Happiest Baby on the Block calls the first three months of life the 4th trimester because the baby is still adjusting to being out in the world instead of in the womb. I thought it was an apt description of the first few months too because it was also a big adjustment for Mommy and Daddy!
I wish I could say we celebrated Ridley's 3 month birthday with a bottle, but alas, she is still holding out. Our last hope bottle came in yesterday though. It's an Adiri bottle that is supposed to be the closest you can come to the breast. Phil is trying it out today while I am at work. Fingers crossed. If Phil can't get her on the bottle, then maybe Elena will.
Elena is going to be watching Ridley starting next week. She's a mom too with a one and a half year old girl. I'm grateful to have found her so that I don't have to put Ridley into daycare at such a young age. I've told her about Ridley's problem with the bottle and she didn't run away screaming...so she must be a keeper!
Ridley is really such a great, smart and strong baby at three months! She loves grabbing her toys and trying to shove them in her mouth. She has a little sock monkey that she'll grab by the tail and then bring to her mouth while turning her head up as if she's just going to devour the little stuffed animal! And she loves holding on to the stuffed toys with the crinkle material inside. We've noticed she tends to favor her left hand so far, so we think she might be a lefty, but we're going to just wait and see.

She also received a Sing A Ma Jig for Christmas that she loves to stare at while it sings.

Her favorite thing though is probably the mirror by her changing table. When we first put it up a month ago, she stared and stared at it. Then she started chatting with the baby on the other side and grabbing the mirror's strings and pulling it towards her. The baby on the other side must be giving her ideas.
Ridley's also sitting up by herself when she's propped up against the back of the couch and she's sitting in her Bumbo really well now. She loves to get her poop on while in that seat. It must be a good position for her. We started calling it her Bumbo toilet.

Last month on the 30th, she rolled over! Well, she was on her tummy propped up with a small pillow and she got to her side. Then she kind of fell over the rest of the way onto her back. But hey, it counts in my book.

Another thing that counts in my book is her first word. Oh, yes. When she cries it often sounds like she says "Moooom!" So, I'm counting that as her first word. "Yes, Ridley you were saying the word Mom at three months! I don't care what the doctors say about childhood development, you were talking to me, dang it!" I'm a proud mom, can you tell?
It's amazing to see her develop. The smallest of things seem so huge. When she "rolled over" I freaked out! I was so excited about it! Ridley had a look on her face like, "Yay, Mom's happy! Although I'm not sure exactly why..."
She's got a big year coming up in 2011. She's going to start eating, crawling, walking, and talking! AND, she's going to turn 1! It's a lot going on this year for her. Of course before she does all that, she's going to take a bottle. :) Optimism.

Catching Up with Photos

Here are a few photos that hadn't made it to the blog before now.


This is Ridley's first Halloween! The first picture is with Great Grandma Millie and the second one is Ridley in her halloween costume. She was a punk rocker.




This is Ridley's first Thanksgiving. We went over to Grandma's house and got to see Great Grandad Brewer and Great Grandma Mary.







Here is a picture from back in November, before Thanksgiving. Ridley and I went to a fundraiser for breastfeeding awareness. We had some professional photos taken of Ridley breastfeeding (for my private family album). While I was there, guess who I bumped into! My midwife and the nurse who helped deliver Ridley! I had to take a photo with them. On the left is the nurse Christy with her daughter (6 months here) and on the right is Pamela, my midwife. She wasn't the one who delivered Ridley, but she was the midwife I saw most often throughout my pregnancy.



Here is a picture of Ridley with her friends Lachlan, Keenan and Carter! I met a great group of women in my prenatal yoga classes, and after the birth of our babies, we decided to create a Yoga Mom's group! Eventually it will grow into a playgroup for our little ones, but right now it's more for the moms. This picture was back in November as well. It was our first meeting. The other babies in the group are Ethan, Paige and Sylvie.




And finally, here are some Christmas photos from Ridley's very first Christmas!

With Aunt Elizabeth on Christmas Day

With Cousin Joseph

Grandma Pam and Aunt Taylor

Papa Creech

Mimi Hilda

Uncle JD

Papa John

Nana Evelyn

New Family

Cousin Cindy

Aunts Nancy and Evelyn

Aunt Shirley and Cousin Katelyn

Week One

It's now Friday of my first week back to work, and we haven't made any progress in getting Ridley to take the bottle. The opposite in fact. At this point, I feel like I'm traumatizing her and Philip feels like he's torturing her during the day.
Wednesday we said we were not going to "give in." But come 4pm, she was still not taking the bottle and she was hoarse from screaming her little head off. Well, I "gave in" at that point! Now every time she coos or cries I can hear the hoarseness in her voice and it breaks my heart. People keep saying, "If she gets hungry enough, she'll take it." So I'm supposed to starve her until she takes a bottle? Phil even tried a dropper to at least get milk in her tummy. Nope. She won't swallow it and spits it out. This has to be traumatic for her.
We've tried every suggestion and idea. We've tried EVERY bottle on the shelves. She doesn't like any of them. I've started to notice she bites down on my nipple sometimes now when I nurse her. I feel like we're really throwing her off! And I don't know what to do.
Our last ditch effort is this bottle we ordered online called Adiri. It's supposed to be amazing, and the most breast-like bottle available. Period. But I just don't think she'll ever take to a bottle. I've talked to women from La Leche League who say their little ones never took to it. They just waited the day out until Mom would get home everyday. Then when they were old enough for a sippy cup, they just transitioned on.
Everyone at work seems to be very understanding about the situation, so I'm thankful for that. My boss has told me not to worry about having to leave around lunch time and even said Phil can continue to bring her in to me here at work. But how are things going to work out when Ridley goes to her caregiver during the day? Is this a long term solution?
The good news is that it might be. It seems that a lunchtime feeding paired with plenty of nursing when I get home and in the morning seem to be enough for her (though Philip, who has been staying home with her all day, would probably disagree). I say it may be enough because she's still sleeping okay at night. She's waking up only once around 4 or 5am and then going right back to sleep. And last night she slept through the night (11pm until 7:30am). I still feel horrible that she's only getting a lunchtime feeding through the day because I know she has to be hungry. She was eating every 2-3 hours before this week! And her poor little voice is so hoarse from being tormented with the damn bottle. But I can't afford to quit work. Ahh! Mom guilt.
Ridley is a determined child. And as Philip has said, "She gets it honest."

Battle of the Bottle Rages On

Monday was my first day back to work. It sort of felt like the first day of school. The time I've been gone seems immeasurable, yet by the end of the day it felt as if I'd never left. Looking at the clock thirty minutes in, I thought it was going to be a long day. Of course it actually went flying by me.
My only source of real anxiety was thinking about Ridley and what/how she was doing and how her daddy was doing watching her. Part of my anxiety is soothed knowing she's with her dad for these first two weeks (until he goes back to work), but another part is ramped up because Ridley is being very stubborn about taking a bottle.
Last week Phil got her to take almost an entire bottle (4 ounces) one day and about 2 ounces the next day. Yesterday, however, she only took about an ounce and this morning she didn't take any. Phil said that as soon as she saw the bottle she started shaking her head violently and screaming/crying. So it would seem we're going backward instead of forward.
Phil has been bringing her to me at work around lunch time so that I can at least breastfeed her once during my work day. Our thought was that it would allow her to ease into this transition. Yet, I am starting to suspect that breastfeeding her at lunch is simply undermining our efforts to get her on the bottle. Today we have agreed not to have a lunch time nursing. I'm not sure that's the best course of action, but it all seems like trial and error anyway. I'm hoping that if she gets hungry enough she'll take the bottle. And I'm still nursing her when I get home and before I leave the next morning.
If all else fails, a La Leche League member advised us to use a dropper to at least make sure she has some milk in her tummy. The same woman also said that some babies just never take to the bottle really and hold out until they're able to take the sippy cup. This may mean that she rotates her feeding schedule, which could mean sleeping more during the day and wanting to nurse throughout the night. That's definitely not a situation that I want to live out, but I may have to. Thank God for the side laying nursing position!